Revealed
by Change.My.World
Summary: Probably a series on one-shots. Crack-fic. Based off iTunes description of the 2nd season of the Clone Wars.
1. Chapter 1

**Revealed: Part One**

**On iTunes, the official description of "Rise of The Bounty Hunters" says "...the lives of the Jedi become even more complex as secret and hidden relationships are revealed..." and that fueled the little plot bunny running on a treadmill. He won't stop running until I write something. So here's the Anakin/Padme relationship... revealed. Enjoy. ;)**

Ahsoka didn't think it would be the death of her when she moved into the Master/Padawan apartments with Anakin. Sure, she threatened it would be occasionally, when he left his clothes or dirty dishes everywhere, or hogged the bathroom just so she couldn't go. But they had always been empty threats; she never took them literally.

Until she walked in, late one night after helping Madam Nu in the archives, and found her Master having sex on the sofa. Her eyes grew wide, and she gasped and stumbled back into the door.

"M-m-m-master? Wha-"

He didn't hear her over the woman's moaning. After about three seconds, she decided that was three seconds too long standing there and locked herself in her small bedroom. Ahsoka didn't know that Anakin knew she had seen him. Until he knocked on her door early in the morning.

"Snips."

He had his lightsaber drawn, and was standing next to his sleeping Padawan. The Togruta had finally fallen asleep after nightmares of Anakin and his apparent pastimes, so she didn't hear.

"Ahsoka."

Still, she slept on.

"AHSOKA!"

The Jedi Knight (not Master, and it irked Anakin so) tore the covers off his Padawan's bed, and was rewarded with her startled awakening.

"Master? What is it? A Separatist attack? Why are you in my room, anyway? I thought we agreed-"

"-that I would stay out? Yeah, I think we did agree that."

"Then why are you-"

Anakin sighed and sat at the end of the bed.

"Ahsoka, there's something you should know. I'm not very good at keeping promises. I thought you had figured it out, but I guess not."

A few moments of silence had followed.

"Okay..."

"Yeah. I know you walked in on Padme and I having sex-"

"YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH SENATOR AMIDALA?? A SENATOR??"

"Yes, I was. I'm married to her, so it's not like it's illegal for me to have sex with her."

"YOU MARRIED A SENATOR? The Council is gonna flip! It **IS **illegal, Master!"

Anakin sighed again.

"Snips, I thought we already covered this? I'm not good at keeping promises."

"Oh, that's right."

"So, before you rudely interrupted my story, I was having sex with my wife when you walked in. And since it's not legal for a Jedi to be in relationships like that, I'm sorry, but.."

"But what, Master?"

"You know too much, Ahsoka. I just told you all - well, okay, really just a few - of my darkest secrets. I **know** you're a goody-goody two shoes, and I **know **you'll go tell the Council, so I'm gonna have to..."

Ahsoka, still half-asleep, stared blankly at Anakin.

"... kill you."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah. I never wanted a Padawan anyway. Sorry. This is just a step in my slow turn to the Dark Side, so it's kinda all your fault that I turn and Padme dies and -"

"-why is it my fault?"

"Because you walked in on me having sex, and now I have to kill you. Seriously, please attempt to keep up, Snips."

Then, without regret, Anakin ran his Padawan through with his lightsaber and promptly left the room.

"Okay, Angel, problem solved."


	2. Of Politics and Players

**Revealed - Part Two (Of Politics and Plight)**

**I'm glad you guys enjoyed the first part! Can I just say one thing.... please? One teeeeeeeny request? Reviews are awesome. :) I know, I don't feel like reviewing sometimes either, but even a "haha that was awesome" is enough to make most authors happy. I follow the "Golden Rule"... wow that was dorky. Tommorrow night!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeepppppp!!!!! Season Two starts TOMORROW NIGHT!!! I CANNOT wait! ... oh, my high school football team is having a home game? Eh, I've never cared about going before... oh. OH. They're undefeated thus far? Huh. That's VERY unusual. Good for them. ;)**

**Obi's Wookie article here: **

com/wiki/Obi-Wan_Kenobi

**This is based partly off the iTunes description, and partly off the season 2 sneak peek where Anakin calls Satine Obi Wan's girlfriend.**

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Obi-Wan knew he was one of the last people many would suspect of having a secret anything. Especially a secret relationship.... with a woman. Most assumed he was gay, and he was kinda okay with that. After all, less women wanted one-night-stands with him than say, Anakin. He could only assume his former padawan took said offers, because when they got rare down-time on Coruscant, he never made any contact with him.

Not that he needed any other distractions.

Dutchess Satine was all he needed.

Well, and a certain tatooed enemy/lover who had apparently snuck into Ahsoka's room _inside _the Temple, ran her through with a lightsaber, and left. Asajj had very odd, unconventional ways... Obi-Wan was surprisingly turned on by them.

After Ahsoka's corpse had been reduced to ashes, Obi-Wan did not return to the Temple for his private meditative study. Instead, he went to a certain office in the Coruscanti Senate building, one he visited frequently. The office of Dutchess Satine of Kalevala.

Later, Master Luminara needed some assistance with... perfecting a style of fighting she was studying, and who was Obi Wan to refuse? Polite, witty, yet reserved, she was a close friend (with benefits) of Kenobi's.

And later still, Asajj Ventress came to visit him... he was on a leave, and she all over the galaxy, so it had been weeks since they'd last met. Obi Wan enjoyed these meetings, as the feisty, dangerous, bold type was not to be found in the Temple.

When the ginger-haired Jedi returned from the club he and Asajj had visited, he found his former Padawan in his quarters.

"Anakin... what pleasure do I owe this to?"

"Owe what to?"

"Finding you in _my _apartment."

"Ah, well, with Ahsoka gone it's kinda boring.... downtown's so congested cuz of the kriffing Senate meeting tonight... I thought I'd come hang out with you, Master."

"I see." Obi Wan began preparing water and cups for tea. While he was doing so, he kept his back on Anakin, not once speaking. That is, until he heard the noise of a holopad and an oddly familiar feminine voice.

"Obi, sweet, I _do _hope we're still on for tonight, I've got a conference all week and next week I'm going to be off planet... so my office, immediatly after the orange girl's funeral thing... see you there?"

The image flickered, that disappeared, only to be replaced by Luminara Unduli.

"Master Kenobi, I must ask you for assistance. I need to work on my... _flexibility_... if you catch my drift. Maybe two hours or so after the services for Padawan Tano?"

Anakin grinned, and made no attempt to turn off the holopad.

"Anakin - "

"Shh, Master, here comes another."

This time, a figure of Asajj Ventress appeared before them.

"Kenobi, I've been given leave for tonight, and I'm leaving for Coruscant now. I should be there in about four standard hours; meet me at that horrendous club you took me to last time, the open bar. If you're absent, I'm afraid I'll have to come retrieve you from the Temple."

"Wow... so how'd Ventress get your scramble set code?"

"Oh, you know, after meeting as frequently as we do, these sort of things do get exchanged."

Obi-Wan moved to take the holopad from Anakin, but the Knight had other ideas. He simply relocated to Obi-Wan's couch and lazily flipped through previous messages.

"Ooh, a blonde... wait, I think I remember this one! Master Tachiri, right?"

Judging by the slight red tint on Master Kenobi's face, Anakin knew he was right.

"Siiiiiri-Waaaaan! Haha, wait."

"Wait. Wait just a minute."

"You're a PLAYER."

Obi-Wan stood in front of Anakin, unimpressed.

"So?"

"SO?? We all thought you were GAY, and you're a PLAYER???"

Anakin let his upper body fall back to rest on the sofa, and gazed up at the ceiling, looking very disoriented.

"Kriff, I thought I was the 'bad' Jedi."


End file.
